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Butterflies


As you probably know, we're in the midst of graduation season. Our oldest son Nick just graduated in the #classof2023 and will be heading off to college in the fall. It's an exciting time, and each weekend is packed with celebrations. I love them because they include my favorite people being happy together and reminiscing about all the great memories we've made. They also include cake, and cake always makes me happy.


I made a card for one of these special graduates, and in considering her gift, I decided on a Butterfly theme. Butterflies symbolize hope, faith, and transformation, and the image would be the foundation for the message I want to share with her and for all of you special graduates and parents of graduates.


Leaving the safety and comfort of the nest is a profound experience. Some of it is mixed up in fear and worry, and some is mixed with regret and loss. Those feelings are housed in a little corner of our hearts called "loneliness," and we feel alone and unique in our suffering. Whether we are or aren't alone doesn't matter because the suffering still hurts all the same. Add to that hurt the sound of "goodbye," and we have pain. It feels so lonely to say goodbye because you know that what happens next entirely depends 100% on YOU, and so far, YOU haven't had to do much alone. At least not the super-big things like moving away and succeeding.


I don't know how it will work out for you because I am not a voice from your future. I'm just an English teacher who's writing a blog that you found and a mom with a little knowledge in that area. What I can say is that no matter your backstory and the feelings that you believe define you right at this moment in time...


Your next chapter is the chance to redefine it all-- to fall into the identity that you've always known was there but maybe have questioned, suppressed, and edited down to it's bare, two-letter essence spelled ME and now it's time to edit it to the three-lettered spelling I AM.


You are now in a position to say I AM. Whether you believe it or not is up to you, and it's ok if you don't believe it right away.


On the other side of pain is transformation, and being on the precipice of transformation is a gift that humans only get a couple times in life.

Why is life like that? Why does joy have to come with some pain? Why does accomplishment have to come with suffering? It's just a universal truth, one none of us can avoid. So...


Think of the butterfly and how she is a symbol of hope and faith. If we hold on to hope and faith as we step off the precipice into the unknown, if we believe fully in our hearts that even though this is scary and hurts like hell, I know with every fiber of my being that the other side will be incredible, THEN you can go into it with the energy of hopeful anticipation that will fuel your bravery for the few weeks you will need it as you get settled in to your new I AM.


Bravery is way more powerful than fear, and interestingly, both are required for each to exist. Only you can decide which of the two is motivating your choices.


The great part of settling into the new I AM is that the WE WERE is still bonded like iron into the WE ARE and none of that disappears. Your WE will not go away if you don't let it; take comfort in that.


Be like the butterfly. As a chrysalis, she knows that her new I AM is just on the other side of pain, and that the hope and faith that she symbolizes provides energy to fuel her bravery and then, a bit slowly and painfully (but not very long), she emerges a new and just (as if not more beautiful) I AM butterfly.


Now that I'm thinking about it, a word I like better than "transformation" is "emergence." To transform is to take the elements of what was there before and reconstitute them into something new. I like "emergence" better. To emerge is to come out from underneath other things; to emerge implies that you were there all along just waiting to come out. I hope you choose to believe in one of them, and I hope that you approach August with gratitude for your past and bravery fueling your new


I AM.


XOXO,

Meredith




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